Sunburnt, half-cut, holding a kebab at 3am in a dark alley you don’t recognise. What could possibly go wrong?
Exactly.
Nobody books a party holiday planning to play hall monitor or clutch their passport like it’s the crown jewels. But staying safe is what lets you actually enjoy the carnage without waking up gutted, broke, or worse, on a flight home 48 hours early.
These tips will keep you and your mates alive, intact and in the right kind of trouble. The fun, Instagrammable kind.
Look After Your Mates (And Yourself)
Rule number one. Golden. Sacred. Whatever you do, don’t leave your mates to fend for themselves like tipsy stray cats.
You wouldn’t let your drunk best mate wander off alone at home, so don’t do it here either. Pair up. Assign a “bride-sitter” or “groom-sitter” if you’re on a stag or hen do. Someone always needs to know where the main character of the weekend is at all times (preferably upright and fully clothed).
If someone wants to leave early, make sure they’ve got someone with them. If you’re the one leaving early? Tell someone. Preferably not just the barman.
Pace Yourself
Just because the pints are two quid and the shots keep coming doesn’t mean you need to drink everything in sight before midnight.
Alternate your drinks with water (yes, water). Not glamorous, but neither is being carried home by three people while sobbing into your kebab.
And please, don’t mix everything under the sun. Tequila, sambuca, beer, vodka, some mystery neon thing called “The Brain Melter”? That’s not a cocktail, that’s an A&E visit waiting to happen.
Especially if you’ve got a boat party or any kind of activity booked the next day. No one wants to see you clinging to the railings looking like a Victorian ghost while everyone else dances.
Watch Your Drinks
Sounds obvious, but the number of people who forget this after three mojitos is shocking. Never leave your drink unattended. If you put it down and walked away? It’s gone. Get a new one.
And don’t accept random mystery shots from a stranger unless you actually watched the bartender pour them. “Trust me, it’s fine” is not a safety plan.
Keep Your Stuff Close
You know that little zipped pocket on your bag? Use it.
Zip your bag. Wear it across your body. Keep your phone in front of you, not waving about in your back pocket like an open invitation. Don’t flash your cash around like you’ve just won the lottery. And if you can, stash a bit of emergency cash somewhere separate. Even if it’s in your shoe.
Know How To Get Home
We’ve all done it. Stumbled out of a club, absolutely convinced you can “just figure it out” and then realised you haven’t got a clue what your hotel is called, or where it is, or even what city you’re in at this point.
Don’t be that person.
Before you even go out, save the name and address of your hotel or Airbnb in your phone. Better yet, write it down somewhere too because your battery will die when you need it most.
Have the number of a reliable taxi service saved as well. If you’re using ride apps, double check the car and driver match before you clamber in. If the driver looks confused when you say where you’re going? Probably not your cab.
If you’re walking home, stick to well-lit streets and don’t wander off alone to “explore a shortcut”. Shortcuts at 3am are rarely a good idea.
Trust Your Gut
Sounds a bit airy-fairy, but it’s solid advice.
If a bar feels dodgy, it probably is. If someone won’t take no for an answer, walk away. If the promoter trying to sell you “VIP” club tickets whispers it like a Bond villain and only accepts cash? Politely decline.
It’s your holiday. You don’t have to be polite to anyone making you uncomfortable. Listen to your instincts and get yourself (and your mates) out of situations that don’t feel right.
Keep Your Phone (And Yourself) Charged
Obvious but overlooked. Make sure your phone is charged before you go out. Carry a little power bank if you can, because nothing says “nightmare” like being lost, drunk, and phoneless.
While you’re at it, let your mates know if you’re going to the loo, outside or anywhere out of sight. You don’t need to give hourly updates, but don’t just vanish like a hungover magician either.
The Golden Rule: Don’t Be An Idiot
It really does boil down to that. Nobody’s saying you have to sit quietly nursing one beer all night. Where’s the fun in that? But a bit of common sense goes a long way.
Eat something before you go out (not just crisps), drink some water here and there, stick with your group, and keep your wits about you just enough to get home in one piece.
You’re here to make memories, not police reports.
Look After Yourself
So there you have it. Staying safe on a party holiday doesn’t mean wrapping yourself in bubble wrap or spending the whole night sipping water in the corner. Just look after yourself. Look after your mates. And for the love of sangria, don’t accept mystery shots from a bloke called Dave who “knows the owner.”
Now off you go. You’ve got a holiday to enjoy.